Like this:

I don’t think I’ve posted anything for a while. I guess I haven’t really felt up to it.
 
But yesterday, I thought of something I thought I’d write down. We got this couch and chair set off of craigslist yesterday. I drove up to Vancouver to get it. It was raining and super dark on the way up, and the GPS directed me along narrow back roads and up Hwy 213. So yeah, it was a little unsettling winding around in an unfamiliar huge truck when I couldn’t see and the roads were poorly painted at best. When I got there, the couch and chair were fine and the guy helped me load them into the truck. I stopped at the store to get some more tie downs for the tarp (couldn’t find the ones we already have) and they didn’t have any. So I ended up with rope. And when I got to securing the tarp, of course it went from raining to completely pouring. Despite my coat, I got completely soaked. I wasn’t feeling too well already, and getting cold and all wet probably didn’t help that. It was like 8:30 – 9pm by then and I hadn’t eaten, so that wasn’t so wonderful either.
 
But here’s the thing: during that, I kept thinking “who cares?” Not “who cares” in the sense that I felt so pitiful that I had given up on caring. I thought “who cares” in the sense that it could be much worse. I’ve read a little in Ecclesiastes lately, so that might have something to do with it. But at the time, I was thinking about the people who sold us the couch. They seemed nice enough. Regular people; just living their lives. Husband and wife, a son and daughter who’s ages were about the same as our kids. The lady said they were selling a bunch of their stuff because they were moving into a smaller place. And the reason they were moving was because they couldn’t afford their house anymore. Apparently, their son has some sort of brain disorder and they’ve been sinking a lot of money into doctor bills. And it’s gotten to the point where they can’t afford their place anymore. At one point while the guy and I were taking the couch out, I could hear the daughter in the other room asking the lady about their new place. She replied that she and her brother would be sharing a room. And when I bought the couch and chair and gave her the money for it, the lady immediately went to one of her kids to tell them to get ready because they were going to go out to get groceries. I got the feeling that they weren’t able to go until just then.

I know that there are a lot of people who milk the sympathy thing for all it’s worth. I’ve seen in way too many times. I don’t think that was the case here. They were making some hard decisions. They both had jobs and were trying to do the best they could. So fast forward to when I was getting soaked… I didn’t care. I was grateful that soaked was all I was getting. And I remembered I have much to be thankful for.

Let’s be honest here. It’s not easy. Things are difficult for us. And we’re not rich (far from it). …But it could be worse. I have a beautiful wife who is simply amazing in so many ways. The kids love me. I have family and friends who care about me. I have a job. I have two jobs! We all have our health. And even if that was in question, we have insurance. We can eat. If I were to be honest with myself, I could go on all day like this. Maybe I should. But above all things, I have salvation. If it all falls apart now, I won’t care a single bit a thousand years from now.

Sometimes I feel down, I’ll admit. But I realize that I often have the wrong perspective and attitude. I pray that God will help me to gain and maintain the right perspective. His perspective. I’m working on it. I’m praying about it. It’s hard to see the good things when the bad things hog all the attention. I’m not perfect. Who is? I’m trying to do the best I can.

I think when it comes time to watch White Christmas this year, I’m going to keep it on and, after the kids go to bed, I should replay the “Count Your Blessings” song a few hundred times. I like Bing anyway.

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